Catch Up
by supercsi4
Summary: What I wish would have happened in the “Man Down” episode. Ryan and Calleigh all the way.


**Catch Up**

By: supercsi4

Calleigh's POV:

I am frozen in place staring into Eric's hospital room, seeing him on the brink of death, lying there in that hospital bed. All I can think of is how I already buried one of my best friends Tim, I can't do it again. H is out trying to catch the bastard who did this to Eric, Alex is still at work and Ryan, I don't know where he is, but I wish he was here with me. I need him here with me. Did I just say that? I need a man here with me. No I don't. I can handle this on my own.

I'm pulled from my thoughts when I sense someone walking down the hallway toward me. I know it's Ryan without even having to look up. I know when he walks into the lab, when he walks up to a crime scene, or when he walks into the locker room at the end of the day. From the day I met him I had been attracted to him. At first it was his intelligence and perfectionism that drew me to him. But the past couple years has been good to him, great actually. After joining the team, he has gone from the cute street cop to the gorgeous CSI. Working with him in those tight t-shirts or going out with him after work when he's in his hot jeans that show off his tight ass. Whoa, where was I going with this? Oh, now I am drawn to his sexiness as well.

He walks down the hall toward me, but I still don't look at him. I'm mad at everyone right now and I'm not in the mood to talk. I'm mad at Eric for making me this vulnerable and the bastards that did this to Eric and even Tim for bringing back these memories. I brace myself for words to spill from Ryan's mouth about how Eric will be ok and we'll all get thru this and blah, blah, blah. Nothing he says right now will make this better, nothing he does will help…Oh my gosh, he just took my hand in his. I can tell he's nervous and surely he thinks I'm going to reject him and pull my hand away, but truthfully, I'm too shock and truly touched that he did this. I readjust my hand so that I can interlock my fingers with his, but still I don't look at him or say anything.

"Are you ok Cal?" Am I ok? Did he really just ask about me and not Eric or anything else? He really wants to make sure I'm ok first. He looks toward me and I just nod. I feel the tears coming and I will not let Ryan Wolfe see me cry. I turn my head away from him as the tears start to escape. I can't hold it in much longer and I try to conceal a small sniffle, but Ryan notices. He pulls on my hand to turn my body toward him, but I keep my eyes on the ground.

"Calleigh…" I can tell he's struggling with trying to find the right words to say and instead, he shocks me again. He releases my hand and surrounds my body in his strong arms. I stand still with my arms still down by my sides. He rubs my back and tells me it's going to be ok and that he's there for me.

"Let it out," he says, so I do. I choke back a sob as I wrap my arms around him, grasping onto his back, as I cry into his shoulder, soaking his shirt. He moves his strong hands across my back to hold me tighter, one hand cradling my head against his shoulder, while the other to holding me tight to his body. I know he thinks I will pull away and run if he doesn't hold me tight enough. And the truth is, if I had any strength left that is exactly what I would do. I lose track of time, we both remain sealed together, prepared to stay like that for as long as it takes.

In the distance I hear clicking of heals rushing down the hall and I open my eyes to glance over Ryan's shoulder to see Alex jogging toward us. I am suddenly aware of how Ryan and I must appear like two people much more then just friends, so I'm scared of what Alex might think and I push away from Ryan. He seems confused and hurt for a second before turning to see Alex and I hope he understands why I had to pull apart from him.

"How's Eric?" she asked, seemingly unfazed by Ryan and my situation just seconds ago. She moves to stand next to me and puts an arm around my shoulder. Even though she's next to me now, I suddenly feel cold without being in Ryan's arms.

"H said he's still in a coma," Alex starts to cry, "God, this is Tim all over again. How are you holding up baby?" she asks me. I just shrug and look toward Ryan.

"He's gonna pull thru this Calleigh."

"Yeah, I'm sure you said that about Tim too," I said, rushing away from them and to the nearest stairs to head up to the roof.

"I got it Alex," I hear Ryan tell her before I close the door behind me. I practically run up to the roof and breath a huge breath of fresh air when I reach the edge of the roof. I can't do this. What is wrong with me? I should be stronger then this. I should be able to handle this better. I hear the door click shut behind me, it's Ryan again.

"It could have been you," I say to Ryan, unsure if he even heard me. 

"What?" he asked.

"It could have been you down there in that hospital bed instead of Eric." He's infront of me now and I can't find my words to continue when his eyes meet mine and his warm hands are on my arms again.

"No Calleigh, don't even start with the 'what ifs?' They will drive you crazy."

"Crazy? I'm already going crazy Ryan, so it's a little too late for that. Eric is like my brother. And my other brother Tim died already and Eric is all I have left. But you…you are…" I can't say this to Ryan. I can't tell him how much I care about him. How the first thing I thought of when I heard Eric was shot was if Ryan was ok. I can't tell him that I have fallen in love with him.

"I hope I'm more then just a brother to you."

"What?" is he reading my mind, "Why?" I ask, hoping he'll tell me the same things my heart has been screaming at me to tell him. God, what a life and death situation can do to a person.

"Calleigh, it could have been you too. And maybe this is just the life and death situation emotions talking here, but…"

"Ryan…"

"Let me finish. Calleigh, there are so many things I want to say to you, that I need to say to you, but I don't know how to." I see in his eyes, he is hard at work contemplating his next move, his next words and I barely notice him lean in toward me, until he takes a deep breath and I feel his exhale hit my lips.

Oh my god he's gonna kiss…All thoughts leave my mind after that. Our arms are wrapped around each other again, trying to getting closer, intensifying the kiss. I pour all my emotions and pain and anger into that kiss, all the while he is trying to comfort me with this kiss. He wants to make me feel better and honestly, as long as his arms are around me, I do. Finally, after my lungs have begun to burn for air, I pull away. A smile forms across my face for the first time in several hours.

"I knew that would make you smile." Oh no he didn't. I push him away and playfully smack him, but he grabs a hold of my wrist and pulls me back toward him. He rests his cheek against mine as we just stand there and hold each other.

"I think I'm falling in love with you, Calleigh," he whispers into my ear. Oh my gosh, he beat me to it. I pull my head off his shoulder to look straight at him. He looks scared to death, hell, so am I.

"That's too bad Ryan…" I pause to let him panic for a second. And then I take a deep breath, prepared to say something I have never said to a man, "…you gotta catch up babe, because I've already fallen in love with you." He chases after me and for those few minutes I had forgotten about the tragedy that waits for us downstairs.


End file.
